I don’t care much about enlightenment these days. Not really. I’m still in awe of the enlightened teachers of the past. It’s hard not to be impressed with the likes of Buddha and Jesus. And I’d be more than thrilled to sit in the presence of and learn from an enlightened master today, if I were to find one.

But I don’t see enlightenment as a goal, not when it feels so much like a stroke of luck. Like winning the spiritual lottery. The simple act of being alive enters you into the drawing. And I’d like to believe the more you work on your spiritual growth, and the more loving you become, the better your odds are of winning. But I’m not so sure. And it doesn’t matter.

When enlightenment was my goal, I worked hard at being a more compassionate, kind, loving and forgiving human being. I’m doing the same thing now, and it’s not because I want to become enlightened. It’s because I want to become a more compassionate, kind, loving and forgiving human being. My goals are different, but the journey’s the same.

Well, kind of.

I enjoy my life not chasing enlightenment much more than I did when I was chasing it. I’m more relaxed about my spiritual path, more okay with wherever it ends up. Yes, I’m in my head a lot, and I struggle plenty, and I judge my progress and battle my ego much more than I’d like to. But that’s being human. An unenlightened human. Pretty much every human.

I stopped chasing enlightenment when I finally understood that it was not in my power to realize it. It’s a gift, not an achievement. It is in my power to become more loving and more compassionate and more forgiving. I work on these things and I see the results of my labor. I feel myself changing. Still, I could be so much more of all those things than I am right now. So I’ll keep working.

If my luck is such that some divine force decides I’m to become enlightened, I have no doubt I’ll drop to my knees in gratitude and tears. But I really don’t believe it will be because I’m wiser and more peaceful than the rest of the world. It will be because, for whatever reason Life decided, I was born with the winning ticket.

Scott Stabile describes himself as a writer with a deep love for love. Read more on his website — ScottStabile.com — and his Facebook page — Facebook.com/scottfrankstabile.